Only Light Can Cast Out Darkness
It’s been a long time, I know. I’ve been working on myself. The past couple of months have been challenging, to say the least, but also full of countless lessons that I needed to learn. Vital ones - ones that are constantly increasing my appreciation for life and bringing me closer to my truest self. At the start of this year, I was quick to say “I’m ready for whatever” not knowing all that “whatever” could bring. And although it has been a rough and trying time, I’ve never taken my eyes off of my blessings - and that’s what’s been keeping me going.
Writing to me is a release. A release of Divine Inspiration that has been planted within me by the hand of Jah Himself. But just as any God-given gift, it is my own responsibility to nurture into growth. I write from my heart...from the flame that burns deep within me and is only sparked when I dwell in the Spirit. It comes from experience and introspection; pain and healing; peace and knowing. I write with the intent to inspire others to think about their thoughts. And in passing, I am also able to put my own thoughts into perspective. This blog for me has been therapeutic. Even before my first subscriber, I wrote without knowing if anyone would ever read what I had to say. This platform has become my diary.
But recently, I’ve been silenced.
Along my spiritual journey, I’ve learned to find peace in the midst of the storm; to ride the wave instead of crashing into it. But this time, for some reason, I couldn’t pull myself to write or be creative in any way. As a free spirit with perfectionist tendencies, I found myself in a bind. I wanted to write, to share what I had been going through, to “release.” But I was stagnated into stillness. Stress, heartbreak, and sickness weighed a thousand tons on my mind and left it in a state of confusion. Even now as I write this, I feel that there’s still a resistance to put it all in words. Something I’ve never found to be an issue.
I lost direction and was desperately grasping onto any bit of happiness that I could. All of my self-love practices came to no avail. I could not put into perspective all that was happening and I became unaligned with my Higher Self and my purpose. But still, I was patient with myself because well, I knew I needed it. I reminded myself daily of all the things I had to be grateful for, and just as I’ve done before, I pulled myself up out of a dark trench.
Trying to rediscover my voice was not only uncomfortable for me but it was petrifying. I’ve never been one to be afraid of my own dark spaces, but this time, I did everything to avoid it. I knew that it would take some deep diving. Deeper than I’ve ever been before - to get to the root cause of underlying issues that were now affecting my mental and physical health. I didn’t have the time nor the mental capacity to do this but I knew it needed to be done.
So I jumped head first into the deep blue of my stressed induced sadness with no idea of what lurked below the surface. I found myself in the midst of a body of water so powerful and so fluid in emotion that in just one sway, I was taken under. But these waters were not unfamiliar, I had been here before - I healed here and reached a new level here. I thought that I had seen the last of it, but apparently, I had missed a few spots. I was still allowing stress and feelings of not enoughness to act as sinking anchors in my life. And although I had found a way to float despite them, they were still knotted to my ankles - slowing me down. While some will see this as a misfortune, I see it as a blessing because my resilience to pain is now stronger than ever.
So I got to work and began diligently chipping away at old, decaying trama that has made a home in the subconscious of my subconscious. I cleared out the infestation that had been wreaking havoc on my everyday life. And I nurtured myself back to peace.
We all need healing in some way or another, but we are not all willing to work at mending ourselves. I take pride in the work that I have put into myself and where I find myself today. I never expect the healing to end and as time goes on, I find it to be an easier task. I see myself today as a healer. When people come to me to help them with their own healing, I find a purpose in it all. The hours of mindful meditation where I worked to release unserving emotions and energy has brought me closer to my true purpose. And this time around, I learned to heal in a new way. I learned to heal the grief of losing a parent, the shattering pain of heartbreak, and the weight of work related stress. I find myself on the other side of agony and regained my identity as a Godly Being.
Now that the storm has passed and the dust has settled, I am able to comprehend the cause of my creative paralysis. Today, I find myself more aligned and even closer to being my Highest Self than I was before. Life is funny in that way, the further you are pulled away from your true self, the closer you can become once you’re back in line. Over the years I’ve learned that everything is smoke in mirrors, until it’s not. And then (and only then) will you be able to reflect on the lesson that you were given in the darkness. And every time, your Light glows a little bit brighter. So let this be attest to all healing for all people everywhere. The remedy that you are seeking is not without you but within you. Don’t be afraid of diving into trauma that lives within you - let your Light fill them up and cast out all of the darkness that resides there. I pray you all find this healing. Much Love -B.